"There's nothing in the child's brain that says their attachment must be to mommy and daddy. There's no circuit that says that's the way it must be,"
So when parents are absent, or shut down an opportunity to build their relationship with their children, the kids seek that attachment from elsewhere-- if they're lucky another adult, but more commonplace in these times that child will seek that attachment from his or her peers.
That attachment happens physically and emotionally, through copying behaviour and through the dynamic of belonging and loyalty. But Mate said peers are ill equipped to provide the unconditional, loving relationship only parents or another caring adult can provide.
"Peers aren't meant to be Mother Nature's nurturers because they're immature," Mate said. "It takes a lot of maturity to stand for unconditional devotion even in difficult times. As a result, kids live with a lot of dissing, bullying, ostracization and avoidance... when that happens, development shuts down."
Theories aside, we all know how important the parent-child relationship is. God Himself is a loving Father and a perfect role model for parenting. One of his characteristics is His omnipresence. He is always with us, always holding on to us.
Even though we cannot be omnipresent to our children, we can make sure we fully present when we are with them. Hold on tight.
