"My mouth will speak words of wisdom; 
       the utterance from my heart will give understanding."  Psalm 49:3 (NIV)

Most people do not like to be considered an extremist; we envision ourselves as quite balanced in our thoughts and actions.  When it comes to teenagers, however, communication often becomes an issue of extremity for many parents.  There even seems to be a line drawn between Christians and nonbelievers on this issue.  

From my observation, Christian parents tend to be naggers (see article below).  We love to correct our children, don't we?  We see it as our God-directed obligation, and rightly so, but often how we go about it is the furthest thing from the heart of God.  

Nonbelievers, in general, have decided they would rather be friends with their children than parent them. They excuse away misbehavior and use their teens as an excuse to act like children themselves.  

I believe there is a middle ground which pleases the Lord.  I believe we can be both parent and friend to our children. It's all in the way we communicate.  

The following article has some very practical, thought-provoking ways to improve communication with our teenagers.  The article asks this tough question:  "Are your kids drawn to talk to you, or do your children spend a lot of time away from the family, either on the phone, texting, listening to music in their room, or playing video games?" It's normal for teens to detach themselves to a certain extent, but the question is, where is the majority of their time being spent?  

Please take the time to read this article and take it to heart, even if it stings a little.  Pray that Psalm 49:3 will become a reality in your parenting.  

Are You Nagging or Communicating?

Bad news for baggy pants haters...

I'm not sure there's anything sinful about baggy pants, but apparently it disturbed enough folks to get a law passed banning them. However, a Florida judge has deemed that law unconstitutional, so our hard-earned tax dollars will likely pay for this case to climb the courts. 

Baggy Pants Ruled Unconstitutional

My husband never got a law passed, but our son's baggy pants used to drive Dan crazy.  He instituted a belt requirement and occasionally would give a tug on Jeremy's pants to make sure he was in compliance.  On one such occasion, he happened to do so in the middle of a discount store, and ended up "pantsing" the boy in public! While it turned out to be a funny story that we laugh about in our family, I do not recommend this as a means of dealing with baggy pants. However, I do believe Jeremy did a better job of remembering his belt from then on!   

What do you think?  Are baggy pants morally reprehensible, or are the adults who passed this law being legalistic and uptight?  

Snurf-legal and dangerous new drug

"You don't need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything."  Colossian 2:10 (The Message)

It's hard to keep up with all the stuff out there that can be dangerous for our kids, so I try to stay on top of some of this stuff for you guys.  

There's a new drug causing quite a stir.  It's called Snurf; no, not the little blue guys from Saturday morning cartoons, those are Smurfs.  :)  Snurf is legally sold over the internet as an herbal supplement (although some of the so-called ingredients don't exist), and it landed four Pennsylvania teens in the hospital in the past week.  

Please read the link below to become familiar with this and other similar over-the-counter supplements that are being marketed to your kids.  Make sure you know the signs and symptoms of use and abuse. More importantly, TALK WITH YOUR KIDS about this stuff!  This opens the door for a great discussion about why people use and abuse drugs (i.e. what is missing in their lives?).  

Praying for you and your children,

Lisa

Growing Teen Abuse of Snurf Pills

Girls, girls, girls

“Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.”  John 7:24

There is nothing new about teenage girls pushing the envelope with their fashion choices.  It’s no revelation that the media and the fashion world cater to that rebellion.  There are, however, some interesting new ideas about the reasons why girls act the way they do.  There are also indications of a turn in the tide for feminism, a step in the right direction (in my opinion). 

Check out the articles below (I’ve included a snippet from each one).  There’s some thought provoking stuff here.  I’ll leave you to your own conclusions.  J

Time Magazine:  The Truth about Teen Girls

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1840556,00.html

“There are lots of reasons to worry about adolescent girls having sex too early .   But is it the sex we're worried about or the sexiness? Is it what they do or how they look? And whose problem is this anyway?”

ABC News:  Some Say It’s OK for Girls to Go Wild

http://abcnews.go.com/US/Health/story?id=2798436&page=1

“’Putting up pictures of yourself scantily dressed on MySpace is, in a way, kind of a good sign,’ he said. ‘The good news is that it's somebody who isn't horrified by their appearance. Also if they get some positive response, that can be very supportive.’"

 "’Adults think that kids take everything literally -- if [teens] pose in a bikini, they're suddenly sexually active,’ she said. ‘It's odd that adults who are supposed to think more conceptually are thinking so concretely.’"

 

Parent Dish:  It’s Not Bad to be Good

http://www.parentdish.com/2007/07/20/its-not-bad-to-be-good

“I was getting all the wrong attention from men. I wanted them to like me for me, but my "look" wasn't attracting that. I wish someone had been there to guide me, to show me that there was an alternative. (Someone other than my mother that is.) I wish someone was out there making it cool to be good.”

 

Toronto Star:  How the ‘Bad’ Girl Became Good

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/236893

"Looking ‘wild’ and acting ‘wild’ are supposed to be empowering, but more often they lead to misery, especially for young women who quickly learn to put their emotions in deep freeze to do what is expected.”

Talking to teens about TV role models

Integrating faith and culture is not always an easy thing to do.  Here's a great discussion tool from Common Sense Media when watching TV with your teens, which I highly recommend if your kids enjoy the teen dramas (soap operas).  

Talking to kids about role models