A recent study shows more than forty percent of adolescents had intercourse before they ever had a conversation with their parents about sex. A Time Magazine article (link here) comments:
"That trend is troublesome, say experts, since teens who talk to their parents about sex are more likely to delay their first sexual encounter and to practice safe sex when they do become sexually active. And, ironically, despite their apparent dread, kids really want to learn about sex from their parents, according to study after study on the topic."
I know talking to your kids about sex seems awkward and uncomfortable, but because they are exposed to the topic so much in today's culture, it's important to start young and continue the conversation. The article suggests one way to spark discussion is to address a mention of sex or sexuality on a TV show. This gives you the opportunity to teach your kids Biblical values about sex. If you're really stumped about what to say, just ask one simple question: Do you have any questions about sex?
A couple of things caught my attention in the article. Forty percent of girls said they had not talked with their parents about how to refuse sex. This should be at the top of the list for both boys and girls when having discussions about sex. Tell your kids the lines they likely will hear when being pressured to have sex (we've all heard them!), and give them specific ways to respond.
Another aspect highlighted in the article was this: "'A lot of parents think they had a conversation, and the kids don't remember it at all,' says Dr. Karen Soren, director of adolescent medicine at New York Presbyterian Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital. 'Parents sometimes say things more vaguely because they are uncomfortable and they think they've addressed something, but the kids don't hear the topic at all.'" In other words, be specific!
There is one thing Christian parents should be mindful of which the article does not cover. Sex is about more than health and pregnancy (although those are both extremely important!). God created sex to be a beautiful expression of love in marriage. We should strive to emphasize the goodness of it when it is exercised according to God's plan. If kids hear this message above and beyond the "don't do it" message, they will be encouraged to wait.
1 comment:
Great message. Another idea: there are tons of books for preschoolers that talk about sex in a very age-appropriate way...not all the details, but certainly not the stork story! I read some to my daughter just to start her feeling comfortable about sex. At the age of 7 I did tell her she could talk to me about anything, including sex, and she wanted to talk about sex. We had a great talk and, in fact, she mentioned it again awhile ago and how she loved that talk. 7 is a good age to discuss values, too.
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