Thursday, June 25, 2009

Does your kid cheat?

For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. Philippians 1:10 (NLT)

Does your kid cheat? Before you say no, look at this research from Common Sense Media:

  • 35 percent of teens with cell phones admit to cheating at least once with them
  • Two-thirds of all teens say others in their school cheat with cell phones
  • 52 percent of teens admit to some form of cheating involving the internet
There appears to be a real problem here, but other parts of the research reveal a more disturbing issue:

  • 23 percent of teens say that storing notes on a cell phone to access during a test isn't cheating at all
  • 20 percent say that texting friends about answers during tests is not cheating at all
And finally, parents are in denial about the possibility of their own children participating in cheating:

  • 76 percent of parents say cell phone cheating happens at their child's school
  • 3 percent of parents say their child has ever cheated with cell phones
I call this the "Not my kid!" syndrome. We never want to think our children, who we are raising with high moral standards, would ever stoop to cheating.

If there's one thing I've learned through years of parenting and working with teens, it's that you can never assume anything. Never assume your child knows right from wrong, even if you've said it a million times. Never assume your teen is not susceptible to peer pressure or pressure from teachers or parents to get a good grade. You cannot even assume your precious offspring won't have an apathetic moment and take the easy way out.

In the Bible, I love the way Paul writes to the churches like father writing to his child. In Philippians, Paul repeatedly encourages the believers to live clean, innocent lives before a dark and despairing world. In each encouragement, Paul gently reminds them how their behavior reflects on him and how proud he is when they do right. Take some time to read Philippians this week, and use this book as an example to exhort your own children.

In the meantime, use these survey results to open up a discussion with your teen about cheating. Some good questions to use are:

  • Do you think these numbers are fairly accurate?
  • Is cheating pretty common at your school?
  • Have you ever considered cheating?
  • Do you think cheating is wrong? Why or why not?
I'd like to hear from all of you on this subject. Do you think your child has ever cheated? What can parents do to help prevent cheating?



1 comment:

Yes, I'm Catholic said...

I get what you mean about the "Not my kid" syndrome, but in this case... not my kid. And I have every confidence of that.

Though the majority may cheat, not all of them do.

I know people think I trust my kid too much. Other parents don't talk so much about cheating, but they do talk about sex. They think I'm nuts to be confident that she will wait until marriage. They roll their eyes. They think that's an impossible thing for teens to do.

Yet we do have free will. We aren't "forced" by our hormones and society into sexual activity. And it's the same with cheating. There are some who truly believe it's wrong, that it's against what God would have us do, and for Him they won't do it. My kid is one of them.

Yet, for any stranger who reads what I said, I do understand why you'd think I'm just being blind. And that's so sad. It's sad that so few are that trustworthy.

But the other sadness is that often our kids learn it from us, and from all the little ways we lie to get out of trouble. If they see us doing that, why should they think cheating is wrong?

In a society where we believe in moral relativism, why should they think anything is wrong?